The Negative Pregnancy Test...

How it looks:

 How it feels:

This is definitely a new feeling for me, considering how devastating a negative pregnancy test was just 3 or so years ago, however, though I love my babies, one of them is only two months old...

 I'm SO glad this is just a stomach bug!!

Karl Quotes...

Karl seems to have a lot to say on the topic of me being or not being pregnant... His latest input on my reproductive status:

"No offense, but please don't be pregnant" followed by "you have to stay un-pregnant until Wednesday."

This quote is right up there with, "Don't have a baby tonight, I'm too tired."

Lol, I love my hubby ;)

Baby Boy is FINALLY Here!

As of 2:26pm on Monday, March 10th, Declan Kelsier Smith is officially on the outside, and we could not be more thrilled about it! His timing couldn't have been more perfect; he came on the first day of daddy's spring break (just as I had been hoping and praying for), and my labor even started early in the morning, just like I'd been planning (for Evie's sake). He's already such an obedient child ;)

For about the last week I've been having more and more contractions. They seemed to be getting a little worse every day, but after my severe disappointment at my 38 week appointment (no progression from 37 weeks and stupid contractions all the time) I was trying not to hope. I did notice, however, over a couple of days, that I had started to lose some of my "baby sealant". That kind of got me excited... But I know it can still be weeks, so, blah.

Friday, we took Evie to the dino museum on a whim. I was feeling pent up /anxious and I think Evie was too, so we took a spontaneous family trip :) The whole time we were walking around the museum I was having some pretty good contractions that were a lot more "labor-like" in quality (...they hurt, lol). So, here I am thinking it's definitely coming, if not that day than maybe the next! Then we went home and nothing much more for the rest of the day.

SIGH

Saturday, the weather was fantastic (60's and sunny!) so we decided to take a walk to get us all out of the house. We walked all the way to campus and back (a huge feat for me at this point). I was so hoping for more contractions like the day before, but no... All that walking and I mostly just got INCREDIBLY sore (Oh! Remind me to tell the story of how I tried to run across the street at nearly 9 months pregnant... it was hilarious).

Sunday we didn't go to church. I was still sore from the day before and feeling pretty sick (did I mention I'd been sick for 8 weeks straight at this point?), Evie was coughing and had a runny nose, and I was just tired and out of it. Also, I had been having contractions all morning... They were regular and definitely the worst they had been yet (minus maybe the museum contractions). Once again, I was trying to convince my brain that this was nothing, but then I noticed some "show" and at that point all was lost. I tried to tell Karl that something might be coming, without committing to it since I hate to be wrong, haha, but looking back, maybe I could have been a little bit more firm with it, lol!

I spent a lot of the day trying to clean up a bit and get some last minute organizing/tidying done and I packed some stuff for Evie. There was a lot more I should have done, but I was half afraid to jinx it and then I was just tired and didn't want to over-do it, just to have it not be the real thing... So I think I skipped the dishes, didn't take the gross garbage out, and didn't pack a hospital bag, haha!

That night we watched some Walking Dead, I tried a couple labor inducing activities, I worked half-heartedly on some thank you cards, and went to bed WAY too late... Though, not nearly as late as Karl, but I digress 

.Of course, by the time I fell asleep, the contractions I'd been having all day were nearly gone and I was starting to think I'd lose my mind if I had to go through this roller-coaster one more time.

At 3:45 Monday morning, Evie woke me up, and Karl was still on the computer... I told him to go to sleep, and went to take care of Evie and get her back in bed. I was feeling seriously irritated. I wasn't quite sure why, since I'm used to Evie getting me up in the middle of the night, and I was somehow not totally surprised Karl was still up (though he doesn't do that often, I'm sure he was thinking it was a great idea, seeing as it was the first day of his spring break). Anyway, I ended up lying down next to Evie to get her back down, and while there, I realized I was having contractions. 

Real ones... Painful ones...

They were about 7 minutes apart and they were very different in quality from the ones I'd been having before. 

This was finally IT, I just knew it!

I went back to bed with Karl and asked him if he was asleep yet. He wasn't, so I told him I was pretty sure I was in labor and that he should get as much sleep as possible ASAP. Which he did, WAY faster than I thought he would, considering I had just told him I was in labor. I tried to go back to sleep too. I figured that I must have been sleeping through contractions up until this point, so maybe I could do some relaxation stuff and get some more rest...

Hahahahaha... I'm funny.

I ended up in bed for probably a half hour worth of contractions and decided it was pointless. So, I got up, got myself ready between contractions, cleaned some more, got things ready, watched some early morning news show, and just worked through my contractions one at a time by myself.

At this point I was feeling very content, happy, and excited that it was finally happening, but still pretty relaxed. I was totally feeling all "earth-mother-y" and connecting with my baby and all that junk, as I worked through my contractions. 

I seriously felt like I was totally going to kick this labor things' butt.

Once again... HAHAHAHA.

By about 6am the contractions were starting to get tougher, so I finally attempted to wake Karl for some support, let my mom know this was probably it, and I texted my doula. She didn't answer. I really needed to call her instead of texting, which I knew, but I didn't feel like needed her immediately and I was still kind of worried that maybe I wasn't REALLY in labor, or it would stop or something... I don't know! 

Anyway, when Karl got up he informed me that our car was on empty as of the night before, so I sent him out to get gas while I tried to print off our birth plan (which I'd planned to go over at our 39 week appointment, scheduled for 11:40 that day, lol), and get everything ready that I needed to take with us to the hospital. Yeah, we're awesome at being prepared ;) I must also mention that I had planned to pre-register at the hospital that day too... lol.

At 7am I finally called the doula and she headed down, and not too long after, we told my mom to come and we got Evie up. Poor thing was super cranky about being woken up! She was standing on her bed crying and moaning and groaning when I went in there, but as soon as Karl told her she was going to Grandmama's for the day because we were going to the hospital to get baby brother out, she perked right up! I asked if she wanted to get dressed and she said "yes!" and jumped right out of bed (definitely uncharacteristic of her, haha). Quickest mood turn-around she's ever had, I'm pretty sure.

Speaking of Evie, she was super cute while I was having contractions; everytime she noticed I was having one she would run over, hug me, and say "mommy needs hugs!" Not the most comfortable sometimes, but I loved it ;)

Stacey, our doula, arrived at around 8ish and my parents and Soni came not long after that. It was a little bit of a circus in our house with everybody here and Evie trying to grab some last minute toys to take with her, but it was fun... lol. Before they left, Karl and my dad gave me a blessing. I really don't remember what Karl said, except I do remember him saying that I would be able to ask for what I needed, which really stuck out to me at the time.

We worked through a bunch more contractions while Karl, my mom, and Stacey somehow got talking about vampire babies and Breaking Dawn, lol! 

I have to say, I really liked being able to have Karl physically support me more this time around. Being able to hug him or have him holding me during contractions was so nice. 

Anyway, at around 10ish, I was sitting on the couch leaning forward and hugging Karl during a contraction when I just started crying, for no good reason. I mean, it really hurt, but I was handling it just fine. I wasn't crying about the pain.

That's the point when we decided to make the trek to the hospital.

I bawled after every single contraction I had in the car, which was weird, because in between crying and contracting, my mood was totally fine! And, may I just say, contractions in the car stink.

We got to the hospital (where I had yet to register...) at around 10:30 ish and after a couple questions that I was not super in the mood to answer (lol... I was still crying between contractions), they brought me straight back to a labor room, got me a nurse and started getting everything set up! No triage for me, thank heavens, they decided I looked like I was in pretty active labor, lol!

Good ol' room 121

 Also, the room they brought me to just happened to be room 121... Which is where I had Evie! I thought it was pretty cool ;) Of all the rooms!

Since I hadn't registered, unfortunately, I got to sit there in bed for about a half hour, answering about a million questions while I was hooked up to the monitors to get a baseline and make sure baby was handling everything ok. I thought it was really interesting that I had been having intense contractions very close together, but the longer she asked me questions I literally watched as my contractions petered out. I've heard of that happening in all the natural birth books, but It was really interesting to experience it first hand. I wasn't quite sure whether I should be grateful for the break in contractions or incredibly annoyed at having my progress slowed down!! Either way, next time I'm going to be sure to register WAY ahead of time, lol.

Answering questions between contractions... Notice my hair is still in good shape at this point, lol.

When they first checked me at the hospital, I was at 5cm and nearly completely effaced. I had been  2cm and 70% a week before, and I'd like to think that I'd had some progress over that that week, but either way, I had dilated somewhere around 2 or 3 centimeters and done a little effacing in the 6 hours I'd been laboring so far. I will admit, I was a little disappointed with the progress I had made! With the way I was feeling, I was sure I'd be at 6cm or more! They checked me again like 30 minutes later and I was still a 5. THAT really made me mad, because things started getting VERY intense as soon as they left me alone to get back to my laboring!

When they finally let me get up out of the bed (which was a horrible place to labor!!), the nurse, Lori (who was fantastic, by the way, total opposite of the last time around!) offered to get a birth ball for me and we tried that for a bit. It was a little awkward, and I don't think it worked quite as well as I would have liked, but I think that may be because it was kind of short! I don't think it was a good height for me.

After awhile of that, Stacey had me try standing and doing the "slow dance" thing with Karl, which I liked a lot, if only because it was one of the few times I could really be in close contact with him during the whole labor. Next time we do this I really want to work with Karl before hand so I can have him more involved. I think it really helped!

I really shouldn't have been frustrated about my progress, (this is why they tell you not to do cervical checks...) because things really WERE picking up speed. About an hour after they last checked, the midwife came in to check me again and I was at a 9 with a "bulgy bag"! 4 centimeters in about an hour and a half, when those first 2-3 took 6 hours!!

The midwife told us that we should break my water and I'd be pushing in no time!

I was hesitant to let her break my water at that point; it was something I had really debated all through my pregnancy, since that was when everything fell apart with Evie's birth. The midwife had said the exact same thing then too...

However, the promise of being able to get on with things was just too much for me and I agreed. The midwife "suited up" in prep for delivering this baby, and broke my water.

Now, this is how it was supposed to have gone: midwife breaks water, this causes baby's head to move down, engage more fully and put better pressure on the cervix, and therefore help to dilate that last centimeter much faster. And, when you get to a 10, theoretically, you're "ready" to push.

Sounds like a great plan, right?

This is what ACTUALLY happened: midwife broke my water, checked me, and I was suddenly at 8cm rather than 9... Baby's head did not engage when she broke my water because it was in the wrong position, and it had been my bag of waters that had been doing all the pushing on my cervix.

And I stayed at an 8 for more than an hour. 

The contractions were still super intense and I was still very much in transition (I even ended up throwing up a few times because it was so intense) but I wasn't making any progress. They made me stand up for a bit, labor in a "side lying" position for awhile, and then switched me to my other side, hoping to make baby move into the right position. Meanwhile, the midwife was getting more and more anxious and antsy.

Turns out, she had another patient about to deliver down at UVRMC, and she'd chosen to stay with me and broke my water because she thought I would go first... And then I stalled instead, completely ruining the plan.

This is the point where I started to feel a ton of pressure... And not from the baby. I swear, all I kept hearing was: "Do you feel like pushing?", "Let me know when you feel like pushing." or "Does it feel like he's moved down yet? Feeling any pressure?"

Why yes, yes I was. -_-

After waiting only about 20 minutes after breaking my water, the midwife started telling us she needed to start me on some pitocin. She told us that my contractions just weren't strong enough (HA, I say!), and the pitocin would make me finish dilating. I was NOT happy. At this point the contractions were so bad; I felt like I was breaking. I could barely handle the contractions as it was, so the thought of making them ANY harder was enough to make me want to just die.

After awhile of trying to passively put it off, Karl, who I could tell was getting a little angry at the midwife's attitude, finally told her that we really didn't want the pitocin and firmly asked if it was possible to wait an hour or so. This was one of my favorite parts of this labor; I loved how assertive he was on my behalf, even with an authority figure ;) She agreed, reluctantly, but we had to do an internal monitor  for me and baby and before she left she basically told us that if I didn't get the pitocin I'd be getting a c-section. She kept throwing out comments like "I'm just not happy with the way baby looks", but would tell us anything more definite than that.

Yeesh... Talk about pressure. I was stressed enough about the lack of progress on my own, but I'm super sensitive to other people's attitudes and emotions, and hers was REALLY not helping. Then throw in some threats of c-sections and my baby's health being on the line, and you've got me falling apart...

Anyway, on our own, we labored on. I kind of gave up mentally after awhile, I just laid there with my eyes closed, completely out of it between the super intense contractions (once the internal monitor was in, I had proof of how hard they were!). During contractions I begged for someone to help me and told everyone I couldn't do it. I was so tired!

Finally the midwife came back, and after about an hour and a half I had still made no progress.

The midwife at this point told us that we basically had to try the pitocin, and that's when I lost it. The midwife asked if I wanted drugs, and over the course of a few more super intense contractions (with no end in sight), I convinced my "team" that I needed an epidural. Unfortunately, the anesthesiologist had two patients ahead of me.

I was so mad.

They offered to give me a half dose of fentanyl in my IV, which I accepted. The nurse asked if I was feeling it yet, and all I could say was: "It still hurts! Why does it still hurt!?" To which she responded "Oh, it's just to take the edge off, it won't stop it from hurting, just help you relax a little."

 I was DOUBLE mad.

I felt so betrayed... lol. I was promised pain relief if I just gave into the drugs that I was trying so hard to avoid, and I didn't feel any better!!! It just made me feel a little sleepy...

She checked me right before she left to make sure I wasn't about to push, and since it didn't look like I wasn't going anywhere, the nurse and midwife both left to take care of some final prep while I waited for the epidural.

I suppose the drugs must have done something, because after a contraction or two, the doula finally convinced me to try getting on all fours and leaning against the head of the bed. She was really hoping to move me to a position to get baby where he needed to be, and hopefully I would be able to push before the anesthesiologist got there.

I'm so glad my awesome little team was still rooting for me and still trying to help me get that baby here with out the epidural, even though I had completely shut down mentally!

After being in that position for a couple contractions, I was feeling like pushing, FINALLY. I didn't even tell anyone, and when the midwife and everyone came back (right about then) I just started pushing. They moved me back to my side, and less than 10 minutes later, Declan was here!!!! 10 1/2 hours of labor, 4 of them at the hospital, he was finally here!!

Born at 2:26 pm, and weighing 6 pounds, 15 ounces, and 20 inches ;)

I am so thankful we had Stacey there, and that the anesthesiologist took so long!! I can't be sure, but I really think that had I gotten the epidural, I wouldn't have been able to move the right way to get him into the right position, so I would have ended up with the pitocin to get me to dilate. But, since he wasn't in the right position, I can see me still not dilating, and ending up with a distressed baby and quite possibly that c-section that had been hanging over my head...

I will say that I'm sure the midwife did have my baby's health and safety in mind, and I really liked her during our prenatal appointments, but I'm incredibly disappointed with how our birth went. It really wasn't the experience I had hoped for.

Evie's birth was so hard and, even though it was an incredible and empowering experience in the end, both Karl and I had some left over feelings that I was really hoping to heal/resolve with this birth. That didn't end up happening, and I'm so sad about it. Instead, this birth was much harder than Evie's and I feel like I've been left with a whole new, and much bigger, set of issues to deal with. It wasn't as empowering of an experience either.

On the bright side, I'm no longer afraid of the pushing stage, lol. It was hard, but so quick after the hours of pain, and I didn't need stitches!! Recovery this time around has been a million times better!

I am so glad to have him here and he is worth every minute of that labor experience; he is absolutely amazing! I love how from the minute he arrived, he belonged. From the first moment I saw him, I felt so strongly that he is and always has been mine and that he is such an important part of our family. It sounds so silly when I say it, but it's true, lol.

Welcome to our family Declan!!!

 

36 Weeks

I can't believe how close to the end we're getting! Back in July it seemed like March would never come... and actually, pretty much this entire pregnancy has seemed eternal, BUT suddenly we're almost done!

So much to do! I haven't even packed a bag yet!

Night before last I started having contractions. I didn't really notice how regular they were, but I ended up taking up a bath at around 10pm to get more comfortable. After that I did some dishes and they started to hurt. Karl and I sat down for a bit to watch the end of Minority Report (it was on TV and I'd had it on while I was cleaning) and we were noticing how funny and lopsided my tummy looks when I had each contraction. Then Karl pointed out that I'd been having them five minutes apart... And he told me I couldn't have the baby that night because he was too tired.

I'm so glad he thinks I have any kind of control over that ;)

They felt a lot like the contractions I had a few hours before labor really got going with Evie, buuuut after keeping me up til after 2:30 with pain, they must've stopped at some point because I did not have the baby, and they haven't been that painful/regular since. I have some hopes that this means we're going to be getting things going in a couple weeks here (we kinda did something similar for a couple weeks with Evie), though I am happy he's going to keep cooking for a bit longer :) Karl did decide that maybe it's time to pack a few things for the hospital and get some stuff ready, lol

Today we had our 36 week appointment (down to weekly visits now!), which meant I got to do the group b strep test (always fun!) and since we were doing that, I had my first "check". According to the student midwife (whom I'm not positive I trust), I am very soft, 70% effaced, but only 1 cm dilated and baby is still pretty high. I guess that means those contractions were doing something anyway, and not bad progress for only 36 weeks.

Things are looking pretty good, but I am still anemic so they're making me take a prescription iron supplement (I refused to pick the last one up...). Also, I'm measuring about 2 weeks behind, and if I'm any farther behind next week we have to go in for another ultrasound to check his growth and fluid levels (every time I think we're finally done!). I've also been told to make sure I do kick counts and if he seems slow at all I've got to get a non-stress test done (another thing I wanted to avoid needing this time around).

I'm sure he's fine, but it does make us a little nervous, since this was one of the things they were worried about originally with all the ultrasounds. I just wish I didn't have to wait 'til next week to find out how things are going!!

Chiropractor!

FINALLY got adjusted by a chiropractor yesterday, and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner!

I went in hoping to fix the sciatica that has been plaguing me for months now, and hopefully fix some of the hip/pelvic/back pain I'd been having.

The sciatica is still there, unfortunately, I'm still kind of waiting to see if my body will adjust, or if there's inflammation that will go away, or SOMETHING, but I'll probably go back in a week or two to try again, just to see what else can be done :)

That was sort of a let down, HOWEVER, while I thought the sciatica was my main problem, I had no idea how terrible my hips/pelvis were! I have been waddling like I was about to have a baby since the middle of my pregnancy, and it's just been getting worse and worse the further along I've gotten. It has just plain hurt to walk for so long! Grocery shopping has become like the most dreaded responsibility I have, just because it's torture to walk around the grocery store at a snail's pace, in horrendous pain.

It's also been horrible trying to get up and down off the ground (which I do a ton of, having a toddler and all); it seriously felt like my pelvis was going to crush itself or something every single time. I dreaded having to get up off the floor every time, and there was a lot of very unladylike like grunting and groaning with every effort!

Also, just lying down has been painful. Lying on my sides made my hips hurt, even with pillows between my legs, so I'd try lying on my back for a couple minutes to try to take the pressure off, but that hurt too! I've been spending a lot of time sleeping in the floor by Evie's bed for the last couple months and that made it so much worse!

I was so sure that's just how it was going to have to be for the rest of this pregnancy, and had my fingers crossed that having the baby would resolve the problem.

I am pleased to report that since being adjusted I can walk again!! I'm walking so much faster (though still probably half my normal speed, lol) and I don't waddle like a hip-replacement candidate anymore!!! I just went grocery shopping tonight and it was SO much more do-able. I can get up off the floor with no groaning, and lying down is so much more comfortable--no hip/pelvic pain!

Even though doing all those things still hurts because of the sciatica, I cannot believe how incredibly much my life has improved by reducing my pain as much as I have! I'm still hoping there's some way to get rid of the sciatica all together, but I will take what I can get! I'm so much more comfortable now.

Next pregnancy I think I'd like to be adjusted monthly from the beginning. I can't believe how many months I have suffered when I didn't need to. I have seriously had break downs over this! I guess next time I'll know better :)


 

34-35 Weeks... Big belly, ultrasound, baby shower, and more!

35 week belly! I don't think the picture really does my enormousness justice ;)

 Today I am 35 weeks pregnant, and it also happens to be my birthday!
26 years ago I was born four days after my mommy's February birthday, even though I was supposed to have been a March baby too ;) I have been celebrating all day with tons of contractions and cramping... Annnd I'm starting to get pretty nervous about the state of my preparedness for this child!

About a week ago we had our VERY LAST ultrasound (#5!) which went really well, as far as baby is concerned... Karl had to work and so my mom and Amaia (who just turned 6!) came with us. Evie was pretty good for most of it, but as we were trying to leave she threw an epic tantrum all the way out of the hospital and into the car and part of the way home... She's been doing that fairly regularly these days--I think it's because she's been skipping her naps :/

As for baby, he was measuring only about 2 days ahead this time around, but all his little body parts are looking perfect and he's not behind on his growth. The estimate is that he was weighing in at about 5 lbs 3 oz as of a week ago! He's currently head down (like he has been this whole pregnancy, good boy!), which is fantastic news.

We couldn't get a very good picture of his face this visit, however; silly monkey had one foot and a hand in front of his face! This is the best pic we could get :)

 

Saturday I had my first baby shower, thrown for me by my loverly visiting teachers, Carmen Cole & Amy Bingham :) Only about half the people I invited ended up being able to come (it was a little bit short notice, and for some reason lots of people were gone doing fun things that day!), but I actually thought it was the perfect amount of guests for my comfort level. It was a lot less awkward when I could kind of talk to everyone instead of worrying about all the people I couldn't get to or was leaving out.

Carmen did, however, have everyone play a baby shower "game" where everyone went around the circle and gave me a compliment and some parenting advice. I will admit, I was not super comfortable with sitting there making person after person say something nice about me while everyone listened... Just not sure what to do with myself! But, I did really appreciate all the kind things that people said. I'd been having a rough week, and an especially rough morning, so once I moved beyond the slightly awkward feeling, it really was a blessing to hear those things :)

And here are some beautiful pictures of that event, which I stole from Carmen:

And now for some symptom complaints ;) In the last couple weeks I've started to itch terribly... And I'm so scared it's going to turn into the nightmarish PUPPP I had with Evie! With her it started earlier, but it felt so similar to this! I'm just hoping I can have this baby before it gets to the same point it did with Evie (I was basically clawing the skin off of my entire body).

Also, ever since I started itching, I've gotten some new stretch marks! I was doing perfectly well just reusing the old ones, but they just started popping up where ever I scratched :( It's not too bad, I just have them on the top half of my belly now (the old ones were mostly below my belly button), rather than new ones all over my body, so I guess I should be thankful. I'm just irritated that, if not for the itching, I might not have had to get ANY new ones. Buuuuut, that's just the joy of having a momma's body :)

I have had quite a bit of cramping and contractions starting the past few days. I always have lots of contractions, but it's definitely gotten a lot more intense the past little while! With Evie I did this for about two weeks before she finally decided to be born... So we'll see what happens. I'm worried it's just going to get worse and worse over the next 5 weeks, but I'll still go all the way to my due date and just be miserable, lol! I DO want to keep this baby in as long as he needs to be in, but I would really appreciate it if my body would cut me a break, at least for a couple more weeks!!

Like I said, I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens... Luckily we're getting close ;)

Starting after my appointment next Tuesday I get to be seen weekly from now on!! Only 5 weeks to go; we're getting there slowly but surely!

33 Weeks

Wow... It's been a little while since I've posted. I feel bad. But, I feel like I have some pretty good excuses.

Well, complaints, lol. (This is most definitely a complaint post!!)

First, Evie and I have now been sick for 16 days. It's "just" a cough... a terrible, terrible, violent cough, that sounds like it should be coming from someone who's smoked 5 packs a day for the last 20 years or so. Evie's cough hasn't seemed to bother her too much, except at night; it's worse than in the day and wakes her up a couple times a night :/ but really other than that, she doesn't seem to mind the coughing. Me, on the other hand, I've been miserable. I'm exhausted, and the coughing is so horrible on my extremely stretched out belly muscles. I have tried every suggestion that everyone has had to cure it/get rid of symptoms, and nothing has seemed to do much of anything. So frustrating!

Trying to take care of Evie while being pregnant, sick, and utterly exhausted, has been tough :/ Karl has tried to be helpful, but he's, of course, been extra busy lately... So, yes, it's been tough.

Aside from the coughing, baby has also recently moved into a position where he's been putting a ton of pressure on my bladder. I feel like I have to pee constantly! Also, I'm so big I seriously cannot find a single comfortable position to be in :/

I'm totally exhausted... My sleep, the last week or so, has started to look something like this:

I lie down, toss and turn trying to find any "allowed" position that doesn't cause cramps in various parts of my body, my hips or back to scream in pain, various body parts to fall asleep, and doesn't make me feel like I can't breathe. I have a few coughing fits that make me even more uncomfortable. Then, when I finally find a semi acceptable position, I realize I have to pee. I go to the bathroom, come back, and start the process all over again. I repeat this little cycle several times, and then just as I am finally able to start drifting off, Evie wakes up and needs me to come lie down next to her bed on the floor.

If I thought my mattress was bad, it's luxurious compared to sleeping on the floor!

I finally get her back to sleep, go back to bed, and fall asleep for about 2 or 3 hours before she wakes up again. I usually end up sleeping on the floor in her room for the rest of the night, as it's really the only way to keep her sleeping. I wake up so sore!

I'm so tired!

And, as of my last appointment, I found out I'm more anemic than I was last month :/ I started out mildly anemic, but my levels have dropped even more despite my efforts in taking iron supplements.

So, in summary, I've been sick for more than two weeks, I can't sleep, and I'm anemic. I don't know if I'll ever be un-tired again!

On the bright side,we're finally down to appointments every two weeks! Only 7 weeks to go!

Also, this coming month is packed! I hope it will go by super fast :) We've got one one ultrasound, two midwife appointments, our prenatal meeting with the doula, two baby showers, my birthday, and Valentine's day!

On the other hand, I'm really not prepared for him to come yet! Half of me is just so ready to be done, I'm having such a hard time, but we don't have anything ready, we don't have a name we can agree on (starting to worry we never will!), and I don't know how I'm going to have a newborn AND take care of Evie.

I know it will work out, but wow, lots of emotions going on right now!

The Things People Say...

Tonight we took Evie to the playground at the mall. It's too cold and gross for her to get out much, so the mall is a pretty regular trip for us these days.

Anyway, I was sitting near another mom of a toddler who looked to be about Evie's age. I was just sitting there watching Karl chase the little monkey around when the other mom came walking back to her place on the bench after chasing down her own monkey.

Now, I kinda tend to try to seem as antisocial as possible in hopes of avoiding uncomfortable small talk with strangers, but it didn't work this time... she walked right up to me and asked if I was okay, which caught me off guard, and then she followed up with "you look SO exhausted".

I kind of laughed (now trying to pull off the social persona, since forced into interaction) and said I was pretty tired, but I assured her I was fine. She then continued on to ask how much longer I had (in regards to my giant belly) and how old my child was, and told me that her son was about the same age and how she could NEVER be pregnant and deal with a toddler.

I did my best to complete the conversation in an appropriately lighthearted and congenial manner, since I'm assuming she was just trying to make small talk and get some non-toddler socialization in her day, but I have to admit, I'm really not sure how I feel about the whole encounter.

First off, how horrible does a person have to look to have a complete stranger ask if she's okay? I actually thought I had been doing pretty well tonight (at looking like normal human being), so that was a little disappointing. My problem with that comment was mostly a matter of pride I suppose, Lol

Then there's the second part of our conversation. I'm sure she meant it completely innocently and I shouldn't dwell on it or anything, but I kind of feel like the implication was that I'm crazy for doing the pregnant thing while I have a 2 year old. Then again,  I would acctually have to agree with that most days...

I don't know why the whole episode has me out of sorts, I think the biggest thing is that it really surprises me the things that total strangers will just say, out of the blue, when you're pregnant.

So BIG

I swear this little guy must have had another growth spurt because I am feeling so incredibly big and full of baby! I seriously feel like there's no way he could get any bigger without causing me to explode... and yet I know he's got a few inches and pounds to go-yikes!

I've noticed the past few days my posture has been horrible; I've had a constant "sway back" because it's so incredibly uncomfortable and nearly impossible to engage my abs and "suck in". My bladder seems like it's always full and always being leaned on or stretched against or punched. I also feel like my muscles are being torn apart at the top of my abs (not a comfy feeling).

Also,  it's now official, I can barely get out of the couch or bed on my own anymore, and putting on my own boots is an incredible feat.

All that, on top of having so very many braxton hicks, has me truly wondering how I'm going to make it through two and a half more months!

Hello 3rd trimester! Hello Baby!

Getting bigger! Can't believe we still have a ways to grow!!

I'm 28 weeks today; we've made it to our last trimester! YAY! So excited that we're getting closer!
In the last week or so baby has been moving a TON, suddenly lots of elbows and knees I think ;) I think he must've had a growth spurt, because it's been really hard to feel him from the outside up until this point, and it's been mostly random little kicks. These days he feels like he's wiggling all over the place! Karl's kind of felt him a couple of times in the past little while, but he REALLY felt him last night for the first time.

It's also been really weird because movements I feel super well from the inside can't be felt from the outside, but some that I can't feel at all are very obvious from the outside. I blame my anterior placenta... It really is annoying some times.

I did my glucose test at my prenatal appointment this week and PASSED! THANK HEAVENS!! I am still anemic, though unfortunately, so I've got to get on top of that better :/ I also finally got my results back about the whole infection thing, and they were negative! Yay!

The other awesome thing about today was that we got to go to our fourth ultrasound and see the babe!

Perfect little profile :) Little arm under his chin. Love that little nosey and those lips!

Evie and Karl came, and while I was getting checked in they were running around the lobby. The old lady at the information desk came up to them and Karl was sure they were in trouble, but instead she gave Evie a cute little baby doll... I'm glad people think she's so cute, I don't think she'd get away with most of her antics otherwise! When I asked her where she got the dolly she told me that Grandma Janice (Karl's grandma) had given it to her, which I thought was funny and cute.

Evie was also SUPER talkative today (maybe because she slept in??), she kept running around saying "I wanna see the doctor!" She got tired of waiting in the lobby and tried to go back all by herself, and was terribly mad when I wouldn't let her. When we got back to the room and during the ultrasound she talked the whole entire time. She kept saying things like, "Mommy sick, got hurt, doctor help her feel better!" and she was really enjoying seeing baby brother up on the screen.

Speaking of baby brother, he is doing really well! Fluid was good and there were no signs of any problems caused by the fall yesterday, thank goodness! He's also growing really well (which is one of the things they were worried about last time), he's measuring a week and four days ahead and supposedly weighs about three pounds, three ounces at this point. I knew he'd been doing some growing recently!

All his little body parts are measuring well and looking good still, and his echogenic bowel is almost completely gone, which is great!

After the tech checked everything, she said, "let me just change over to the other machine really quick". I figured that must mean just a machine with a different frequency or something (ok, I had no idea what she meant, but I just trusted she knew what she needed to do), but suddenly, THIS picture came up on the screen:

All cuddled up :) 3D pic... A little weird, but cool all at the same time, lol ;)

I didn't know they DID 3D ultrasounds at maternal fetal medicine, and since I wasn't planning to spend 80 bucks to get an elective one, I didn't think I'd be getting one. We were surprised, but it was pretty cool! Karl thinks baby looks pretty alien-ish but I think he looks WAY more like a baby than in his alien-demon-skeletor pic... That was pretty creepy looking.

Another side note, we saw a different maternal fetal specialist today, and when came in to check us out, she informed us that she had been the one who had done our ultrasound with Evie. She thought it was kind of cool to see her now on the outside, running around and chattering up a storm!

While I thought this was going to be our final ultrasound this pregnancy, apparently we still get to go in one more time to follow up, just in case, at 34 weeks. I guess I'm happy we get another chance to see him, especially since there aren't any major concerns at this point, but I do feel like I've spent an awful lot of time at maternal fetal medicine! Oh well, I'm just going to be glad I get to see him so often :)