So it Begins...

Well, I think we are finally starting to get into the hardcore pregnancy symptoms... yay.

On the one hand, it does make me feel slightly less nervous and paranoid that something is wrong/not going normally.  On the other hand, I just remembered how much I HATED this the last time around.

Oh well, it's all going to be worth it in the end, I suppose ;)

Anyway, yesterday morning I started feeling a little nauseous and it just got worse and worse. Today I felt pretty miserable all day long. I didn't really get a break until about 7 pm, just in time to do Evie's whole bed time routine and put her down for the night.  Luckily Karl was home all day and willing to pick up the slack with Evie so I could be miserable. I love him! I feel so bad that I wasn't able to be present and involved with Evie very much, makes me sad! I'm also worried because I'm assuming this is only going to get worse in the next couple of weeks, and Karl's not always going to be able to help this much. Scary!  Not sure how it's going to go, but I guess we'll make it somehow! It was definitely easier being pregnant the first time around... I got a ton more sleep, anyway! Kinda jealous of past-me, lol.

During my nap this afternoon (which was, once again, facilitated by my hubby) I had my first super vivid pregnancy dream, which was weird, of course.  I just can't help but wonder why, if they're going to be so realistic, can't they be about happy things like relaxing in Hawaii with my family and eating delicious food with a non-queasy stomach??

Instead I dreamed that I was in a church building walking around the halls with Evie, and I kept running into extended family members and random people from the ward. There was something going on in the cultural hall, and I kept catching glimpses as people would go in and out, but I didn't know what was happening. Eventually, I ran into my mom and we were talking and she finally opened the door and let me into the room. Inside every one was standing around talking in hushed voices and looking at this tiny baby and people were taking turns holding him. My dad was there holding the baby when I came in, and I suddenly realized that the baby wasn't alive and I was at the church for some kind of funeral for this little boy. And then I woke up...  And I can't help but think, "REALLY?? WHAT THE HECK, BRAIN? WHY SO DEPRESSING? ?"

Ugh...

I remember I had one dream when I was pregnant with Evie about her suddenly being born months early, at home, and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get her to the hospital in time and she died. It was bizarre, but so realistic and terrifying that I woke up crying and made Karl (who was in the other room working with a friend) come back in and comfort me.

I think I must be stressed or something... Maybe this is my paranoia taking advantage of my pregnancy hormones.  *sigh*

Anyway... That's how things stand at this point. Just praying my family and I make it through the next few weeks in one piece, should be exciting!